Monday, May 30, 2011

Lessons learned on Forgiveness from Karsyn

I used to think I was a patient person. A relatively kind and selfless person for the most part. Then................I had kids. Specifically, I had a strong willed little girl named Karsyn. Throw on top of that a little boy with all sorts of minor but aggravating health issues that wants to be held 24/7, and I have come to a new realization...

I am most definitely NOT a patient person. In fact, if I'm being honest I don't think I could call myself even relatively patient and calm. Add in the lack of sleep over the past three years and the demands that being a full-time stay-at-home-mom (who was finishing up grad school up until the last year), and I have become quite aware of my crazy not-so-calm personality. I never even knew that I had a temper, but it has been made abundantly clear that this is an area in which I need some work.

Yesterday was one of those days where K was moving in super slow speed anytime she was asked to do something (and hyper out of control speed at all other times). Marcus left early for work and was going to be gone helping a friend until late. I had made it through a challenging day full of whining, tantrum throwing (okay, probably coming from myself as much as the kids), errand running, drool wiping, naptime battles, typical kind of day. There had definitely been good moments where we enjoyed our time together, but for whatever reason, I was TIRED. I mean the kind of tired where you don't want to talk to anyone, be asked to do anything for anyone, and certainly don't want to be called back into your kid's room fourteen times for such requests as 'rub lotion on my feet', or 'i need fresh water in my cup'. At some point, I lost it. I yelled at K. In that loud psycho scary mom voice. As soon as I did it, I realized I was wrong and had to ask K for forgiveness. I have to do this often, I'm afraid, so she's used to the drill. I told her that I was wrong and that I was so very sorry. I told her I wanted to ask Jesus for forgiveness and asked her to pray with me. The Spirit of God was in that room with us, and as we laid together in her little bed with me asking for God to forgive me and to help me be a better Mommy, I was in tears. I knew that I had done a pitiful job at raising my kids yesterday and certainly hadn't shown them the love of Christ. When I finished praying Karsyn looked at me and said, "come here, mommy, I want to hold you. I forgive you. I love you".

And that was it. She moved on. She didn't bring it up again. When she woke up this morning she was as excited as ever to see me and to greet me with her good morning kisses and hugs. She didn't question me today about why I chose to lose my temper and yell at her. She didn't tell me that I shouldn't have done that, or that I should know better. She simply forgave me and moved on.

Can I tell you the number of times I've ever acted that way towards her (or many of you I'm afraid)? Karsyn may drive me to the brink of tears with her strong will, but she also modeled for me the way that Christ forgives us each time we go to Him to repent. She exampled the way that I should choose to love others and forgive them.

I am going to strive to love and forgive more like my little girl Karsyn. Why would I want to model myself after a two-year old that throws a tantrum in the floor when she gets the red Skittle instead of the orange one? Because she loves and forgives more like my sweet Jesus than I do (most of the time). I'm so thankful that she can overlook the many, many times I fail miserably as a Mom, and that she loves me just as fiercely as she did before I messed up. What about you? What lessons are your kids, family members, or friends teaching you?


  1. Kara, I love this story. So, so sweet and precious and a memory you can treasure forever. I call them 'pocket moments', moments you can keep in your pocket and pull out during the harder times to remind you that it will be okay, and that it's not always this bad.

    As far as lessons, I'm learning a lot of them right now, some I am grateful for, and others I wish I didn't have to learn right now. I've learned more from you (the 'grateful for' lessons!) than you'll ever know! Thank you for sharing your life! Love you!

  2. This brings back lots of memories. Both of my boys are in shock these days when I tell my grandchildren, it's ok, I'll clean it up later, or it's ok, Mawmaw will get it up. No yelling, spanking, or demanding them to do it my way. My best advice action I ever did for my boys was to pray for them. I gave them back to God after I had them, because He is much better at raising them than I was. We muddled through, both boys survived, without hating me, and doing things mostly their way, disguised to be my way. God took them both, and is using them for his glory. Wherever, and whatever happens to them now, I know God is in control, and definitely forgives all my numerous shortcomings.Also, I admire a mom who has the nerve to stay home and raise the children 24/7. My hat is off to you. Oh yeah, grandchildren forgive me too. Sometimes, Mak looks at me with a big smile and says, "Mawmaw, why are you looking at me that way?" She knows she is misbehaving, but I have a real big soft spot for her. God Bless you Kara, you are doing a great job, I'm, Leona

  3. Precious and perfectly timed, Kara. Thank you friend!

  4. Kara thank you so much for sharing this. I cant tell you how many days I too have had like this and hearing your day/ attitude/ lessons made me smile and have a different perspective. I am so thankful that we have the never ending forgiveness of Christ and what a great memory you have of K and her understanding heart. Love it.

  5. Hi, I found you from Dave and Brit Plus One! This brough tears to my eyes, because I have had a morning like this already. I will pray for you, I know how hard it is!

  6. Thanks for sharing this story!

    I'm a new follower to your blog. It will be great if you could stop by mine at


  7. This is such a beautiful reminder for us all. Thank you for your vulnerability and for linking up!

  8. I LOVE this post! It is so true how our sweet little ones are so quick to forgive and so loving. I too am trying to be better at this.
    -visiting from Capturing Motherhood xoxoxo


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