That old familiar feeling....

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 For the last week, I've posted daily about budgeting, saving money, making better choices, not using credit, learning to live on less, etc. Let me speak openly here- I don't write about these things because I have it all figured out. Nope. Not at all. Not even a little bit.

I write about these things because they are areas that I'm working on, too. God has been speaking to my heart about them and I'm trying to share what He's teaching me with others. I've done really well this week about not spending money that I didn't need to, and have been keeping a 'spending journal' to track where my miscellaneous money is going. But the other night, that old familiar feeling struck.

You know the one I'm talking about. You see someone wearing something really cute, or you see someone with the latest technology device, or maybe it's someone driving a brand new car, or maybe it's someone who is eating out at your very favorite restaurant. For me, it was a bathing suit. Sounds ridiculous, right? We had met some family friends at a local outdoor pool and ran into one of Marcus' old girlfriends. That's fun, right? Just where you want to be when you run into your husband's old girlfriend. A public location while you're wearing a BATHING SUIT! But to make it even better, she looked FABULOUS. She had on a really cute, trendy bathing suit and looked trim and fit. I sat by the pool wearing my modest one piece that I've had for about 4 years, and suddenly felt insecure. As much as I hate to write that here for all the world to see, it's true. I quickly said to Marcus "I need a new bathing suit. Seriously". His tried to reassure me that I looked nice, but at that point there wasn't much use in reasoning with me. I was stuck.

Ever felt that way? It was like I felt like I HAD to have a new bathing suit so that I'd be 'good' enough. So I'd LOOK good enough. Friends, let me tell you- that is nothing but a lie from Satan. God says that we are good enough, just as we are. We don't need to have ANYTHING or ANYONE to validate us and make us accepted apart from Him. God reminded me of this today during my quiet time when I read Matthew 6: 25-34 (from The Message)

"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion (this one really slapped me upside the head!). There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you are worth far more to Him than birds.

Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion- do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them. If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers- most of which are never even seen- don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do His best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving.  People who don't know God and the way He works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how He works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiate, God-provisions.  Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your human everyday concerns will be met.  Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. "
Matthew 6:25-34 THE MSG

We've all heard this passage many times, but somehow for me, when I read it in this translation, it was like I was hearing it for the first time. I hope it blesses you as it has me.

Love you all!