To Walk or Stay by Lara Williams

This week, To Walk or Stay by Lara Williams is officially being launched. I mentioned this book in an earlier post, but wanted to remind you again why you need to pick up this book.

Lara Williams is my favorite blogger/author and has a God-given ability to speak God's truths in the most beautiful ways. I have never met her in person, but know that if I had, we would be fast friends. She is funny, and thoughtful and knows Him well because she has traveled through the Valley with Him. She is grounded in His Word and brave enough to speak truth in difficult circumstances and situations. This book is basically a compilation of things that God spoke to her during the process of her husband's infidelity and then her choice in allowing God to heal, renew and restore her message.

Here are some of my favorite parts:
"But more than my fleeting happiness, God's agenda in my life includes Him making me holy. I may need to repeat that. God's agenda in my life includes Him making me holy. And my transformation into a holy vessel often comes through suffering, by which He sheds needful things from me".

"I had a choice. I could've walked. I could've quit. I could've packed up the kids and run away. In fact my emotions screamed at me to leave. But deep down where God's spirit stirs, He prompted me towards something different- something radically foreign...I clearly sensed Him saying, "If you choose to leave you will miss my ultimate blessing".

"Whether we like war-talk or not, we're in the midst of a battle. And it isn't fluffy and pretty. Peter describes the enemy as a lion seeking whom he may devour. He prowls and pursues. He tempts and twists. He knows our weaknesses and attacks relentlessly- though within the boundaries our Father sets for His children. Because of WHOM we are fighting agains, we have to clothe ourselves with armor that will actually protect. In those early years of marriage, I wasn't battling my man. It felt like I was battling my man, but ultimately, I battled agains an enemy out to destroy our home".

"When faced with difficulties we have choice as to where we begin. We can begin wtih the trial and define God through the lens of circumstance, or we can begin with God and define the trial through the lens of His revealed character".
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This book The truths in this book can change your heart, your marriage, your home, your calling. You can purchase this book from Amazon here: (This is NOT an affiliate link) or learn more information by visiting Lara's blog at www.tooverflowing.com . While there, go ahead and subscribe to her blog so that you don't miss one thing she is writing. You do NOT want to miss this.

Love y'all!

8th Anniversary Trip

This year it was Marcus' turn to plan our Anniversary. We had planned to just stay home for the evening and let my parents keep the kids for us. We only had from mid-day Saturday until Mid-day Sunday, so we thought it would be nice to just enjoy dinner and a movie out, and a morning to sleep in while the kids were away.

However, Marcus made other plans for us that turned out to be GREAT.

Through a connection at work, he got us an AMAZING place to stay in Charlotte for FREE. It was called The Residence at Southpark and is a luxury apartment building right at Southpark mall. Here are some pictures:

We tried to take our picture, too, but didn't have much luck:

We arrived, got settled into our room then had lunch at the Cowfish Grill (pictured above). This was directly below our apartment. They served delicious half pound burgers, sushi, and the best fried pickles you have ever had.

After that we walked around the mall for a bit, had some coffee, took a nap and rested. That evening we had dinner at a place called Rooster's. It was delicious and it was a nice experience, but I just don't think we are fancy enough to eat at places like that often. We stayed up late that evening enjoying our time together and then got to sleep through the night without any kids waking up asking for us, and even got to sleep in. We had a nice breakfast in the room and then headed home.

We had such a nice time and were grateful for the chance to get away. Life can be so stressful at times, and we can get so busy about the business of life that sometimes I think we forget what it's like to just be us as a couple instead of us as Mom and Dad. It was wonderful to reconnect, renew and refresh our commitment and joy in each other. Thank you to my parents for keeping both kids and the dog for us. We appreciate you so very much!

As much fun as we had, I was glad to come home to our family, friends, and house. It was nice being in the city for an evening, but I am definitely a small town girl at heart.

8 years

Today we celebrate 8 years of marriage. 

8 years. 

To some that may not seem like long at all and to others it may seem an unattainable number.

The past 8 years have been filled with the blessing of being married to my best friend
and also in being pushed to our limits by one another.
8 years of stretching and growing, learning to die to self and of learning to cherish what we have.
8 years spent trying not to take one another for granted,
8 years of learning to forgive each others shortcomings and celebrating each others strengths.

Can I be honest with you here?

Last year was a hard one on us. Selling a home, moving into a new home, increasing my work schedule to five days a week, Marcus' second year in graduate school, raising two strong-willed children, battling through some post-partum anxiety I still had, and learning to set priorities. There were days that were hard. Exhausting even. Days when we were too tired to have the hard discussions that probably needed to happen. Times when I chose to serve myself instead of him, to snap and lose my temper over insignificant items. Days that I went to sleep feeling like he didn't understand me or worse, that he didn't want to try. Days that he felt like he wasn't respected, wasn't valued, wasn't the leader we needed.

But can I tell you something else? And this is important, so please keep reading. There were way more good days than bad. Days when we laughed til we cried in the kitchen while watching the kids playing in the back yard. Days spent dreaming and planning of what life will be like when some of these hard seasons of life are behind us. Moments spent celebrating all that is good and right in the world and times that I felt as loved and accepted and appreciated as ever.

You see, we do NOT have this marriage thing all figured out. I doubt we ever will. But we have made a commitment to CHOOSE to love one another even when it's hard... Even when it may be the last thing we feel like doing. We have sat and had those tough conversations when they absolutely needed to happen and we have chosen to work things out when they are still little before they have the chance to become big things.

I've learned that life and love and marriage are nothing like they are portrayed in movies and in love songs. And that is okay. Through this institution called Marriage I have learned am learning how to stick things out even when they're hard, how to love when someone doesn't want to be loved (and how to let someone love me when I am unlovable). I'm learning how to submit when it's hard and also how to serve not out of obligation but out of the overflow of the heart. I'm working on learning to listen more and speak less, to spend time doing things that he enjoys. We have learned the importance of being on the same team and cheering one another on- even when we may be the only ones doing so. We know the power in spending time in prayer and calling out to God to change our hearts.

And I can tell you today with complete honesty that I love this man more than I did the day I married him. I love the man he was then, and I love even more the man God is growing him into being now. He is my best friend and the person that God has specifically designed for me. I am grateful for the lessons we are learning and how God is changing our hearts even after 8 years. He was worth waiting on. He was worth all the years wondering why I hadn't met 'the one' yet. And he is worth every single moment of hard work that may be required now.

Are you in a marriage that may seem like it's too much work? Too challenging? Too empty?

Hear me, friend, God wants to rescue and redeem your marriage. Turn it over to him.

If you're interested in learning more, can I point you to @LaraWilliams? This month, her book "To Walk or Stay" is coming out. I am not exaggerating this, y'all...this woman has a way with words that can only be a gift straight from God. Her book is powerful, full of truth and grace, and may be just the inspiration you need to give your marriage all that it needs. I believe the official release date is March 15th, and it will be available at amazon. You can find out more information at www.tooverflowing.com

SEVEN years ago... (a repost with a few updates!)

REPOST with a few updates!

This week marks six seven years since when Marcus proposed. I thought I'd retell the story here of that wonderful day...

At that time, I was teaching Business and Marketing at NCHS and coaching the Varsity Cheerleading squad. Marcus was working as the Athletic Trainer for NCHS and covered all sports practices and games. We had been dating about 6 months and things were going great. We had talked about marriage, but never anything definite. (To be quite honest, I knew he was the man I would marry from the beginning. I would have said yes if he would have asked me after only a few weeks!)

We had our first pep rally of the year that Friday afternoon. I had started losing my voice and so I asked Marcus if he would M.C. the pep rally for me. He said he would and the pep rally went well. We played games with the students and teachers, cheered on the team and got everyone ready for the game that night. It was about 97 degrees in the gym and so I was sweaty and covered with whipped cream from one of the games we played with the students. As soon as the students were dismissed, Marcus called over all the cheerleaders and football players. One of the students (Cody) took the microphone and started talking to the cheerleaders and thanking them for all they did for the team. Marcus kept asking me to come stand in the circle with all the players, but I was hot and tired so I was sitting on the bleachers. I went over and then one of the football players gave the microphone to Marcus. Marcus thanked the team and told them how much he'd enjoyed working with them. Then he said that if it wasn't for working with them, he never would "have gotten to meet Ms. Redmond and I wouldn't get to do this"...and then he got down on one knee, pulled the ring out of his medical bag and proposed. It was the most beautiful, exciting moment! My cheerleaders all were screaming and crying (as was I) and then the football team broke into a chorus of the song "My girl". For Marcus and me, it was absolutely the perfect proposal.

We were married six months after that and we've been very happy since then. EDITED: We are still extremely happy and he is still my best friend. But we're learning that marriage isn't just about being 'happy' or 'having a good time'. Marriage is making the choice to love even when it's hard...and difficult...and the last thing you may want to do. Our goal is to out-serve one another and to reflect the love that we have been so freely given through Christ.  I'm thrilled to say that I love him more today than I did six  seven years ago and I still get excited when I hear his truck pull into the driveway each evening. He's the first person I want to see and talk to when I wake up and the one I'm most eager to call when I've had a hard day. He is my best friend and my joy. I am so grateful that God blessed me with him!

(What I wrote above really was true...the first time I saw Marcus I told the Principal that I was working for "that's the man I'm going to marry". It took us months before we began talking with each other and months after that before we started dating...but it was worth the wait and all that it took to get us to that point!)

Here's a picture from the girls and me at the game that evening, and a picture of Marcus and I.

Choose. To. Love. (marriage)

I had the priviledge of singing at a friend's wedding today. It was SUCH a beautiful wedding! It was simple, and elegant, but what made it so powerful was the emotion we could all see in the bride and groom's faces, the love in their voices, and the excitement in their eyes.

You see, one month ago, Erin (the bride) was involved in a fatal car wreck when the driver of another car crossed into her lane and hit her head on. He was killed. She crawled out of her burning car, and survived, suffering a few pretty serious injuries. Here's a picture of her car so you can get the picture of how serious this thing was:

Erin and her husband (Aaron), realized how blessed they were when God chose to save Erin's life that day. They chose to go ahead with the wedding even though she had a cast on her arm and leg, and had been through this awful ordeal. They had me sing a song called "When I say I do" by Matthew West. Some of the lyrics said,

"You see these hands you hold, will always hold you up
When the strength you have just aint strong enough
And what tomorrow brings, only time will tell
But I will stand by you in sickness and in health

Cause I have never been so sure of anything before
Like I am in this moment here with you
And now 'for better or for worse'
Are so much more than only words
And I pray every day will be the proof
That I mean what I say when I say 'I do'
Yeah I mean what I say when I say I do.

Take my hand and take this ring
And know that I will always love you through anything."

Beautiful.

Which reminded me once again of the beauty of marriage...Of why God has instituted it in the first place...And of why it needs to be the number one priority in my life and home (outside of my relationship with Christ).

Is marriage easy? At times, no. But it is NOT about a feeling. Falling in love is intoxicating, it's life altering. It's easy to want to serve and help someone that you have fallen in love with.

But fast-forward several years. Add in the stress of work, graduate school, a few kids, the deaths of loved ones, the loss of jobs, home repairs, a mortgage, a down economy, health issues...the list goes on. Life isn't always easy.  Love isn't always easy. But here's the bottom line. Love isn't a feeling, it is a CHOICE. It is an ACTION.

I want to choose to love my husband even when it isn't easy. I want to outserve him at every opportunity that I can. I want to bring him joy all the days that God gives us together.

It is time for us to start honoring marriage as the commitment that God designed it to be. Are you investing yourself in your marriage? Are you speaking truth to your friends that may come to you with marital issues? Are you placing God in the center of your marriage?

As hard as it is, it's time to die to self. Give all that you have for your spouse. Speak their love language. Do activities that they enjoy. Hold hands in the car. Kiss every day (even if you don't feel like it!). Leave love notes. Speak highly of him/her in front of people that are important to him/her. Build each other up instead of tearing one another down. Laugh at their jokes, bring them flowers or their favorite food. Remember what 'your song' was and dance with him/her to it. Have a picnic under the stars after the kids are in bed. Tell her she's beautiful, stretch marks and all. Tell him he's a wonderful provider and protector.

Commit again today to giving what it takes to have a successful marriage. Begin by praying and asking for God's help. I am praying for each person reading this that your marriages will be renewed, restored, and redeemed.

Love y'all!

Please go read this! Biblical Marriage advice

One of my suite-mates in college, Melody, has written a fabulous post about her 8th anniversary. It is an amazing post by an even more amazing woman. Go read it. You will be blessed!


http://melody-theharrells.blogspot.com/2011/08/8-year-wedding-anniversary.html

6 Years In...

Tomorrow, Marcus and I will celebrate six years of marriage. There has never been a day go by since we were married that I wasn't overwhelmingly grateful that God created this man for me. We have been through ups and downs together, but I would still choose him over and over again. I'm going to post some pictures down below that celebrate our special day, but I'm also going to include some lyrics to a song I recently discovered. 

Dancing in the Minefields by Andrew Peterson:

And we're dancing in the minefields
We're sailing in the storm
This is harder than we dreamed
But I believe that's what the promise is for
That's what the promise is for

Bridge:
So when I lose my way, find me
When I lose loves chains, bind me
At the end of all my faith
to the end of all my days
when I forget my name, remind me

Cause we bear the light of the son of man
So there's nothing left to fear
So I'll walk with you in the shadow lands
Till the shadows disappear
Cause he promised not to leave us
And his promises are true
So in the face of all this chaos baby
I can dance with you

Aren't those POWERFUL words? Marriage isn't just about sticking together during the good times. There are days that are hard...days where you're aggravated and need space. Days when everything the other person does can tend to make you mad and days when you just want to be left alone. And when that happens, keep pushing on. Marriage is hard work and love is NOT a feeling. It is a choice. An action that we must repeatedly choose to do day after day. 

Marcus- I know you don't typically ever read this blog, but if you do, know that you are absolutely the best gift God has ever given me besides His son. Know that I am so incredibly grateful to get to walk through this life with you. Know that I will always support you and be a safe place for you to land. I pray that you will fall more and more in love with God each day and that we will grow together through our service to Him. I don't know what is planned for us in the future, but I know I want to walk through it with you. I love you, best friend.

And here are some pictures, as promised!

We anxiously awaited his arrival at the church- hoping he wouldn't be late!

We posed for all the customary pictures.

Tears were shed over and over again. SUCH an emotional day!

Surrounded by family and those that we love.

My grandparents- Zeno and Rose Proctor. I'm so thankful they were able to be there. Not a day goes by that I don't miss them now.

Walking down the aisle with my Daddy- It already makes me cry thinking about when Marcus has to do this for Karsyn!

Giving me away. The ceremony was performed by my grandfather, Rev. R.C. Redmond

Dancing the night away....

Marcus getting ready to go find my garter...or so I thought. Instead, he came out with this...

Tossing the bouquet.

We left the reception, stopped to change clothes and to grab a milkshake at Arby's and then headed off for our honeymoon in Jamaica. What a fun, fun day!