Ever stop to think and really look at your heart? I don't mean the pretty part that we portray to the world. I mean deep down at the core. Take off your blinders sit and just think about it.
Let me tell you friend- when it comes down to it, my heart is U-G-L-Y. It's filled with things like Pride. Anger. Jealousy. Entitlement. Selfishness. Greed. Unforgiveness. Judgement. Restlessness. Fear.
Today I reached a point where I was literally broken by the desperate condition I find when I look at myself. I am ready to be used. I am ready to stop going through the motions. And I think sometimes, it takes that before we can truly fulfill the purposes God has for us.
This week has been hard emotionally. I am not going to get into the details of that because it could just cause more hurt. I just know that as humans, we are full of earth and full of sin and struggling to follow the call that God has placed on our lives. We must choose to live our lives in a way that glorifies Christ, even when that is a hard thing to do. We must choose to do the right thing, even when it is difficult.
In our Ladies Bible study, we're looking at Phillipians. This week, we talked about how Paul urges us to consider others higher than we do ourselves. This led to a lot of discussion about why the word 'consider' was used instead of 'treat'. For me, it makes sense. I often "do" the right thing. I serve others. I say the correct things and am involved in lots of things that involve putting others first. BUT, when it comes down to it, my heart doesn't match up with my actions.
Am I serving them? Yes. But I believe that when I'm serving with a grumpy heart, God can't exactly bless it. In fact, I think I'm missing the point altogether.
I'm not sure where this is going or why I felt led to write it, but regardless, here it is. K just woke up so I have to run.
I hope that all of you are having a great week! Love y'all!