Monday, August 15, 2011
Choose. To. Love. (marriage)
I had the priviledge of singing at a friend's wedding today. It was SUCH a beautiful wedding! It was simple, and elegant, but what made it so powerful was the emotion we could all see in the bride and groom's faces, the love in their voices, and the excitement in their eyes.
You see, one month ago, Erin (the bride) was involved in a fatal car wreck when the driver of another car crossed into her lane and hit her head on. He was killed. She crawled out of her burning car, and survived, suffering a few pretty serious injuries. Here's a picture of her car so you can get the picture of how serious this thing was:
Erin and her husband (Aaron), realized how blessed they were when God chose to save Erin's life that day. They chose to go ahead with the wedding even though she had a cast on her arm and leg, and had been through this awful ordeal. They had me sing a song called "When I say I do" by Matthew West. Some of the lyrics said,
"You see these hands you hold, will always hold you up
When the strength you have just aint strong enough
And what tomorrow brings, only time will tell
But I will stand by you in sickness and in health
Cause I have never been so sure of anything before
Like I am in this moment here with you
And now 'for better or for worse'
Are so much more than only words
And I pray every day will be the proof
That I mean what I say when I say 'I do'
Yeah I mean what I say when I say I do.
Take my hand and take this ring
And know that I will always love you through anything."
Which reminded me once again of the beauty of marriage...Of why God has instituted it in the first place...And of why it needs to be the number one priority in my life and home (outside of my relationship with Christ).
Is marriage easy? At times, no. But it is NOT about a feeling. Falling in love is intoxicating, it's life altering. It's easy to want to serve and help someone that you have fallen in love with.
But fast-forward several years. Add in the stress of work, graduate school, a few kids, the deaths of loved ones, the loss of jobs, home repairs, a mortgage, a down economy, health issues...the list goes on. Life isn't always easy. Love isn't always easy. But here's the bottom line. Love isn't a feeling, it is a CHOICE. It is an ACTION.
I want to choose to love my husband even when it isn't easy. I want to outserve him at every opportunity that I can. I want to bring him joy all the days that God gives us together.
It is time for us to start honoring marriage as the commitment that God designed it to be. Are you investing yourself in your marriage? Are you speaking truth to your friends that may come to you with marital issues? Are you placing God in the center of your marriage?
As hard as it is, it's time to die to self. Give all that you have for your spouse. Speak their love language. Do activities that they enjoy. Hold hands in the car. Kiss every day (even if you don't feel like it!). Leave love notes. Speak highly of him/her in front of people that are important to him/her. Build each other up instead of tearing one another down. Laugh at their jokes, bring them flowers or their favorite food. Remember what 'your song' was and dance with him/her to it. Have a picnic under the stars after the kids are in bed. Tell her she's beautiful, stretch marks and all. Tell him he's a wonderful provider and protector.
Commit again today to giving what it takes to have a successful marriage. Begin by praying and asking for God's help. I am praying for each person reading this that your marriages will be renewed, restored, and redeemed.