Wednesday, April 18, 2012

GIrl Drama...Choose to Love

I spent a good portion of my day at work today trying to end girl drama.

At my present counseling position, I don't typically have to do this a lot. At an Early College students are generally a little more focused on bigger things that on tearing each other down.
But at times, the drama begins and it makes its way to my office.

It's hard to listen to, hard to not give my own opinions, and hard to stop.

After finishing up talking with some of the girls involved today, I was tired.
Sad at seeing the awful way that we humans treat each other and how we look for ways to choose one side of an issue and to be 'right'.

After logging onto facebook tonight, I was reminded that this kind of thing doesn't stop after high school.
People everywhere are looking for dividing lines. A place to stake our claim and to say we are on one side of an issue or another (which in and of itself isn't always bad)...Looking for a way to throw a wall up between ourselves and others...Trying to cause division instead of love.Judging each other instead of loving.

And I'm guilty of this.

Over. and Over. and Over.

And I'm tired of it.

I want to choose to love.

Regardless of what you believe or how you choose to live, to eat, to parent, to exercise or not exercise, to school your children, to breastfeed or use formula, to condone same sex marriage or traditional marriage, to be single or divorced, to be saved or unsaved, to be contemporary or traditional, to use budgeting or be in debt, to be working or stay-at-home, to be in the choir or praise band, to rent or own, ...

I want to love. To stop looking at the things that divide us and instead looking at what ties us together.

Can I just stop right here and apologize?

I'm sorry to anyone that I have ever made to feel badly or judged about a choice that you have made that may be different from my own. It is not my place or role to judge you, but I am called to love you.

By loving I am not condoning behaviors that I may disagree with. But I am accepting you as a person. And I hope that you would do the same for me.

Loving someone means accepting all of them, even when there may be parts that aren't so great. It's a package deal. The good with the bad...and let's face it...when you get down to it, we're all full of some pretty bad stuff. If we weren't, there would be no need for Grace.

And without Grace, nothing else would matter.

Today I resolve to do better. To stop judging people based on their choices and instead start loving them based on their worth.

I choose to love. Again.


  1. This is so true Kara. I find everday when I log onto Facebook the walls that are put up between people, intentional or not. I have had a very difficult time with this recently and did blog post about it as well. It is not my place to judge others and I wish not to be judged either, but to be loved as Jesus loves. I have felt if I dont live my life a certain way or participate in certain activities, Im not part of clique. Well, you know what? Who cares??? If Im not in choir that doesnt mean Im not worthy. If I dont homeschool and choose to be stay-at-home mom, it is ok. Actually, it is well with my soul! Thank you for sharing this blog. Im glad to know you friend.

    1. Tracie I needed this today!!!! I glad to call both of yall friends

  2. Choosing to love is truth. We also have to make sure we don't look at things other people are doing that God has called them to and assume they are judging those who don't.I can't look at others people's facebook and assume that what they post and are passionate about is them judging. Loving each other is a reflection of our love and commitment to the Lord. It is a picture of of what is in the heart.I pray each day that love is poured out onto those around me as Jesus pours His love on me.

  3. Tracie, Erica, and Lauri-= Thanks! Tracie- I had gotten behind on reading your blog but got caught up today. I enjoy reading your thoughts! Jenna, you are right. We absolutely can't assume that people's passions are the same as's definitely not wrong to be passionate about something. More of us probably should be passionate about lots of things more than we are, lol (myself included in this!). You're right that there is danger into reading too much into what people say and post. What spurred my blog post last night wasn't something like that though, it was a message that someone sent me about a certain 'group' that they were reminded me of my high school girl situation that I'd been dealing with all day.

    I meant what I said...I just want to love. I want to get division out of the way. I'm so grateful that God still loves me even when I mess this up over and over again.


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