Thursday, January 20, 2011

My Identity

I've recently been reading through Choosing to See  by Mary Beth Chapman. What an amazing book! As I'm sure you've heard, Mary Beth and her family have a powerful testimony that focuses on the death of her adopted daughter Maria Sue, who was tragically killed when she was run over by Mary Beth's son, Will Franklin. This book was bring you to tears over and over again as she pours out her heart and speaks of the tragedy they have endured. There are many parts of this book that I would like to share with you, but tonight I chose to pull out a few based on identity.

How many of us struggle with issues surrounding our identity? I know I have, and do. I can remember as far back as middle school trying to decide which group I 'fit' into and changing my style of dress, behavior, activities and interests to match the group that I thought I fit each week it seemed. Now, even as an adult I try to form my identity by what I can accomplish or plan to do. Lately, it's to be a organized, superwoman manager of the home. It's been "runner", "singer", "swimmer", "coach", "teacher", "counselor" in times past. The list could go on and on and on.

I base my self worth on what I can DO instead of simply on who I AM. And the only reason it matters one bit who I am is because the Creator of the Universe designed me in His image, loves me, sent His Son for me, and has decided I was worth it. I am worthwhile and loved simply because He loves me. And He loves each of you just as much.

I have failed miserably at most of my 2011 Resolutions. My house is quite simply a mess most days, and as hard as I am trying, it's just not ever going to be perfectly tidy as long as I am a Mommy...and honestly, I'm okay with that. I'm still not able to practice self-control in lots of areas where I need to when things get tough, and that's a battle I will have to face each day. I haven't been able to consistently exercise as I had planned, and many of my best intentions on developing deeper relationships with friends are just that...intentions. It is time to STOP thinking that I have to do or be these things to be the person I need to be. As it is for you, friends. Here is what Mary Beth wrote:

"I realized that Christ is TRULY all I have. I realized that everything else-everything- is fleeting. If I put my security or peace of mind in my husband, children or home, I would only continue to wrestle with life and how out of control I felt. 

I also knew quite clearly that I couldn't rest my hope or security in how I looked or how productive I was, or anything else that had to do with my hardworking, churning, anxious personality. If my outlook was dependent on me and how together I was, I'd have no peace.

People need to see that real success in the kingdom of God is not about being strong and looking good and knowing all the right answers. It's about continually yielding oneself to Jesus and determining to take purposeful little steps of obedience, and the ragged reality that it's all about God and His grace at work in us...I have to get my worth from Christ and Christ alone."

Powerful, huh? Continually yielding...purposeful little steps of obedience...

Hope this helps someone out there who may struggle with some of the same issues that I do!
Love to you all!

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